Never In My Wildest Dreams
by YahooSounding
Summary: An alternate version of 'Arnold Visits Arnie! What if Arnold hadn't actually dreamed these events? Rather than encountering Arnie near the end of the episode, Arnold manages to encounter Lulu instead. Still heartbroken over the fact that Hilda refused him for Arnie, Arnold decides to take up Lulu's offer for a private swim... but will one thing lead to another?
1. Arnold Falls For Temptation

Remember when this story was meant to go a different way? Well, I scrapped the original idea I had, and decided to replace it with a better idea in mind for a story, still featuring the main mechanic of the pairing and the idea... but let me just say that... this is a 'what if this happened' scenario... a 'could have happened' possibility... but I digress. Also, there will be an uncut version on AO3 and maybe Deviantart, but for now, this is the edited fanfiction version for your viewing pleasure! Let's begin this story!

* * *

Arnold stood stunned as he looked down in disappointment. He still couldn't believe that after all the trouble of getting to know her, how pretty and poetic she was... all this time, she had her eyes set on Arnie, his cousin.

Still, maybe he should have seen it coming. And to think, it was Arnold's first day out in the country, visiting Arnie...

Arnold had never visited Arnie's country before, but he was excited anyway. While he did admit that his cousin had some...particularly odd flaws and found the most boring things the most exciting in his life, he still was pretty cool with his cousin. After all, he, along with for some odd reason, Lila, got along pretty well with the kid.

But upon visiting Arnie's country, Arnold had to admit, it felt a little strange, looking around the place, not only with Arnie, but meeting the kids that Arnie had become friends with... he didn't know if he was crazy or not, but he could swear that though most of them looked like his friends from Hillwood, they reacted quite the opposite of what they usually are. It was like a very peculiar dream, he thought to himself.

And the only person he had met that wasn't entirely odd or insane was Hilda, who he swore looked like someone familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Thus, he tried to hang out with her, and they got to know each other... unfortunately for Arnold, his world had completely shattered when Hilda told him that she was more into Arnie...

He started to wonder if... if he should tell her that Arnie was seeing someone else... or did she know about...

It was then that Arnold realized that Hilda had disappeared. He looked around in confusion, wondering just how long he had stood there, stunned. Did Hilda just... leave him there, stunned and she didn't snap him out of it? He looked around... before hearing some rustling in the cornfield. He looked around nervously as he noticed the night sky was starting to brighten up. He slowly started to walk towards the cornfield as he noticed someone was lurking within. He walked over, and shifted the cornfield as he came face to face with...

"There you are, Arnold!"

Arnold sighed in relief, but at the same time, was a little bit annoyed. Staring at him before him was an orange haired girl with a green plaid shirt with a green daisy-duke, white cowgirl boots, and twin pigtails, giving a giggle. "Lulu, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Arnold, you know that I've had my eye on you ever since you arrived at Arnie's place..." Lulu giggled as she flirtatiously blinked her eyes at him.

Arnold paused as he looked around. "Uh... where IS Arnie, anyway?"

"Oh, he went back with Hilda on the hayride, so... it's just you... and me." Lulu giggled as she leaned closer towards him.

"Wait... Hilda didn't even take me with her?" Arnold said in shock.

"She said that you were in a bit of a shock and needed a moment to think. Arnie considered coming to get you, but I volunteered in his place and told him I'll take you back." Lulu smiled. "So, Arnie and Hilda went ahead... now, don't tell anyone I said this, but I think Hilda here has her eye set on..."

"Arnie?" Arnold said in shock. "You mean... you knew?"

"Of course I did!" Lulu giggled... then paused. "Oh, I'm sorry, did you have eyes for her as well? I suppose I can see you as a bit of a ladies' man."

Arnold blushed a bit... then yelped as he realized how close Lulu was. He started to back away a bit as he said, "But... you're..."

"Arnie's girlfriend, yes, I've heard that quite a lot." Lulu frowned. "Though I'll just be honest with you, he just THINKS I'm his girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, Arnie's okay, but... I don't like him, like him..."

"...you just like him." Arnold slowly paused, knowing the line all too well.

"Now, how did you know what I was ever so going to say?" Lulu smiled.

"Lucky guess." Arnold gulped as he noticed Lulu was getting close. "Well, why can't you just tell him?"

"Oh, I try to, countless times, but talking to Arnie is almost like... talking to a brick wall, you see." Lulu smiled. "Anyway, Arnold, let's get down to business. Both of us are alone, you know about my true feelings for Arnie, and everything is oh so settled."

Arnold yelped as Lulu started to lean towards his face... then started backing away. "Lulu!"

"What's wrong, Arnold?" Lulu asked. "I've heard from the type that you like adventure."

"I... I do, bu-" Arnold said, nervously. "But y-"

Arnold paused to think. Despite the numerous excuses that Arnold threw out, it turned out to all be meaningless at the end. He did admit, he was feeling uncomfortable with the way Lulu was coming on to him. On the other hand, though, Lulu was the only person who was attempting to hook up with him. And didn't his grandpa once say that 'a faraway fling is a GOOD fling'? Maybe he didn't exactly say that, but it did sound like something his grandfather would say.

Arnold sighed. "All right."

"Hm?" Lulu looked up in confusion.

"Lulu, I suppose you want to get to know me, and if you want to... well, you got it. But only if I learn more about you." Arnold said.

Lulu gave a big, wide smile. "Oh, Arnold, do you honestly mean it?"

Arnold paused... then nodded as he thought to himself, _"You only live once..."_

It was at that moment Lulu pulled Arnold into a hug as she said, "Arnold, I believe that your vacation is just about to get... hot."

"Uh... what do you mean by that?" Arnold asked.

Lulu looked up at the sky as the moon was starting to peak out. "Well... it's about eight o'clock... and we're not too far from the swimming hole... remember that offer for a private swim? Well... that's still open."

Arnold paused... and slowly nodded. Lulu could only giggle. "Well, well... follow me."

Arnold yelped as he said, "Wh- now?"

"Of course! Remember, Arnie's going to be asleep at that hour. He always goes to bed around that hour." Lulu said as she clutched his hand. "Come along... when we get to the swimming hole... I'm going to treat you to a nice surprise."

Arnold had no choice but to go along with Lulu as he started to follow her. Arnold never thought that in his wildest dreams that he would get a vacation romance... and who knows, Arnold thought to himself. Maybe Lulu wasn't so bad.

* * *

"Here we are, Arnold. Our nice little swimming hole." Lulu said as she and Arnold arrived at the familiar spot where the two were as she sat down near the edge of the cliff that acted as a diving platform. "So... shall we get comfortable?"

"B-but I don't have my swimsuit with me!" Arnold said.

"Who said anything about a swimsuit?" Lulu winked at him. "Arnold, I'm about to ask you a question. Have you ever pictured a girl naked before?"

Arnold blushed a bit as he said, "N-no, c-can't say I have..."

"Really?" Lulu giggled. "Well... let me show you something I think you'll find interesting."

With that, the flirtatious girl untied the knot on her shirt as she began to take off her top. Arnold's eyes widened as part of his mind told himself to look away... but the other half of his mind betrayed him as his eyes started to fixate on Lulu's beauty. Lulu's top half appeared to be developing breasts, which seemed to be very perky. Arnold's mouth dropped as he started to drool. Lulu giggled, knowing that he had the boy's attention now. Slowly but surely, she started to tug down her skirt and kicked her boots off as she pulled it down, a nice pair of pink panties becoming quite visible.

It was then Arnold felt something along his bottom area moving. Arnold looked down to see that his pants was started to rise up, creating a tent. Arnold yelped as he tried his best to hide it, but it was still visible for Lulu to see.

"My, my, my..." Lulu giggled as she leaned towards Arnold. "Getting turned on, are we?"

Arnold gave a nod as Lulu took one of Arnold's hands and put it on her left breast. "Go ahead, Arnold, massage them."

Arnold slowly felt the touch of Lulu's breast as he smiled a bit. He had never been in close proximity with a girl before, especially with a girl as forward as Lulu. "Wow... this feels nice."

"I think we should get you a bit more comfortable... shall we?" Lulu winked at him.

Arnold blushed a bit as he started to take off both shirts. Lulu seemed impressed as she watched the boy she garnered an interest in taking off both shirts. "Oh... a heavy dresser, are we?"

Arnold gave a smirk as Lulu stared at his chest. Before he knew it, Lulu grabbed his chest and held it close. Lulu leaned her ear towards Arnold's upper chest as she giggled. "My, my. Your heart is ever so beating faster. Could it be that you are really liking me, liking me..."

"Lulu, plea-" Arnold blushed... but yelped as he noticed Lulu was unbuttoning his jeans. "Lulu, wha-"

Lulu put a finger towards his mouth, shushing him. "Just getting you down to the proper swim-wear..."

Lulu then pulled his pants down to his ankles as she smiled, Arnold's pointed "stick" was still clearly visible, even from behind the underwear. "Shall we?"

"Hm?" Arnold looked at Lulu's eyes... before blushing. "Er... yeah, I suppose..."

From there, Lulu stripped her underwear down, leaving her in her naked glory as Arnold was taken aback at this. Nevertheless, Lulu smiled as she quickly dove in. Arnold looked ready to follow, but his mind was still reeling. He didn't want to betray his own cousin... but Lulu DID say that she didn't see him as a boyfriend... and what if Arnie somehow found out? He knew that Lulu and Hilda told him that Hilda had her eyes on Arnie, but he still felt like he was breaking his trust.

"Arnold? Aren't you going to join?"

Arnold snapped out of his thoughts as he noticed Lulu, in the water, giving him a wave. Arnold paused as he went over to Lulu as he sighed. "Lulu, I don't know if this is right?"

Lulu gave a frown. "Arnold, please don't tell me you're still thinking about Arnie and his trust."

"Well... yes... I just don't want to hurt his-" Arnold said, looking back.

"Arnold, listen to me. Arnie's not that great a person, I mean, technically he's okay, but the point is, I don't like him like him... but I like you, like you." Lulu explained. "Come on, Arnold, don't deny it. You have a very mutual attraction to my body, I know it."

Arnold hesitated at first... but took a deep breath as he pulled down his underwear, slowly climbed down the cliff and went in the water. Lulu swam over to him and used her arms to hug him close. "There you go, now don't you feel comfortable?"

Arnold blushed as he said, "I... I..."

"Still turned on by me?" Lulu smiled as she looked up at Arnold. "Well... you're going to get more than a private swim just from me..."

Arnold raised an eyebrow as he was about to ask what Lulu meant by that... before he felt lips colliding with his as he closed his eyes. The rest of the night became a blur as Arnold was beginning to feel a little pleasure... and come next morning, he probably wouldn't even remember what had went on...

* * *

In case you can't tell, this is a rewrite of a story I was doing back then that is now deleted. Originally, I had some ideas for this, but those were already focused on in 'Touchy Feely Sister'. This time, I want to step back and take this story a different direction. How different, you ask? Oh, you'll see! Tune in next time!


	2. Morning Thoughts

Time we move on!

* * *

The next morning, inside Arnie's household, asleep on the couch, Arnold was slowly beginning to get up as he rubbed his head.

"Oh..." Arnold groaned a bit as he got up from the couch, thankful that his uncle, aunt and Arnie didn't hear him come in last night... Arnold paused as he realized something. He remembered going upstairs, carrying his and Lulu's clothes over... with Lulu on his arm... last night was a bit of rush for him, he could hardly remember what happened. As he began to recover, he heard a voice.

"Morning."

Arnold stopped as he slowly turned to see Arnie, chewing gum and snorting, as per usual. Arnold paused as he gave a nervous smile. "Uh... morning, Arnie. Sorry I came home a little late, I-"

"It's quite all right." Arnie snorted. "Just tell me next time."

Arnold couldn't quite explain why, but as he was staring at his cousin, a still atmosphere was settling in and peaks of nervousness was slowly beginning to effect his brain. He knew the reason for that, but he properly couldn't put it in words as Arnold said, "So, Arnie, what would you like to do today?"

"Counting ceiling tiles... reading ingredient labels... the same thing I normally do... unless you have something better in mind?" Arnie asked.

"Uh... nothing out of the ordinary, no." Arnold smiled nervously.

"Ah." Arnie nodded as he turned around. "Then in that case, I'll leave you to get ready."

With that, Arnold's slow-witted cousin turned around and walked away as Arnold gave a nervous smile. As soon as he was sure Arnie was away, Arnold slowly looked down in disappointment. "What have I done?"

Arnold didn't even know WHY he asked this question. Of course he knew what he done. And he even accepted the desire as well... Arnold had stolen his girlfriend, and he had gave in to Lulu's desires for a private swim... not that he was complaining about it. But still, he felt so bad for betraying Arnie's trust.

"Why should I feel bad for it?" Arnold thought to himself as he was getting his shirts on. "I mean, Lulu said it herself. She doesn't really like like Arnie, she just LIKES Arnie. And besides, she says she's letting Hilda..."

Arnold slowly stopped as he gave a sigh. "Hilda..."

The football headed boy sat down as he held his head. "She was just a good girl, a sweet person I've seen... and... I don't understand, why does she like Arnie? I-"

The boy paused as he sat down, pondering his situation and the matters of the consequences it brought. He even began wondering why he even agreed to going with Lulu and having a private swim with her... was it some sort of broken heart thing he wanted to get over just to forget about Hilda? Was him accepting Lulu just a sign that maybe his soul mate was here all along?

"I never had this much trouble back in the city..." Arnold groaned as he laid his face down, next to the blanket he was sleeping on. It was at that moment his eyes spotted something underneath. He took the blanket and examined the item in question... it was a note, written on pink paper with blue ink, and it read as follows...

_"Thank you for the wonderful swim, stud._

_I'll see you tomorrow morning. Maybe we can go out alone. Don't worry, rest assured, Arnie and your folks won't be able to follow us._

_Love,_

_Your new girl,_

_Lulu"_

Arnold's heart began to soar, yet sink at the same time. Lulu wanted to meet up with him this morning? How would she be able to do that, he wondered. Before he could ponder any further, he heard a knock on the door. Arnold turned to see a calm, yet collected Arnie standing by the door. "Y-yes?"

"Lulu's at the door. She says she wants to see you." Arnie simply said before walking off.

Arnold looked surprised, but slowly began to get up as he started to walk towards the door. As he did so, he noted the smiling Lulu leaning towards the entrance of the door, grinning as she waved.

"Good morning, Arnold." Lulu grinned.

"Good morning, Lulu." Arnold smiled back, albeit nervously as he approached her.

"Are you ready to go out?" Lulu smiled, and before Arnold could say a word, she quickly said, "Don't worry about your uncle and aunt, I called ahead and they said it would be fine."

Arnold nervously looked over at his uncle and aunt, who gave firm nods, blissfully unaware of what was going on between the two. Arnold looked over at Lulu, who gave a small grin. Arnold gulped as he nodded.

Lulu could only give a grin as she held Arnold's hand. "Let's go then! I can't wait to show you what I want to show you!"

"I-" Arnold started before turning, "I'm going out!"

"Have a good time!" Arnold's aunt shouted out as Arnold was dragged off...

* * *

"Thank goodness we're away from the house." Lulu sighed in relief as she and Arnold were walking together, Arnold blushing. "Arnold, I think having this in a crowd wouldn't have been pleasing..."

"Uh, Lulu, about last night..." Arnold sighed as he was trying to change the subject.

Lulu stopped as she gave a giggle and turned towards Arnold. "I know, wasn't it just so wonderful. The two of us together, holding hands, playing in the water... tee hee, I think you were feeling up my little ol' body when we were underwater."

"I-I was?" Arnold said in surprise.

"Tell me, Arnold, how did my body feel?" Lulu wiggled her eyebrows, causing Arnold to blush immensely.

"Well, Lulu, I... to be honest, I did love your body and I think-" Arnold started to say, but Lulu's squeal interrupted his train of thought.

"Oh Arnold, I'm ever so glad you love my body!" Lulu smiled as she looked down. "Oh, but I ever feel so bad. Even though you and I have played with our bodies a ton... there's just one organ I didn't give proper attention to."

"I-uh-what?" Arnold said as Lulu dragged him into the woods and carefully hid as Lulu pulled down the pants and the underwear, surprising him. "HEY!"

Lulu blushed as she giggled. "Oh! I think somebody's very happy to see me!"

"L-lulu, please, I really want to talk-" Arnold started, but before he could say anything, Lulu put a finger on his lips.

"Sh, sh. Don't talk. Just let me do the work." Lulu said as she lowered herself down, causing Arnold to blush... as the boy had a feeling that another of Lulu's ideas was about to spring up...

* * *

And that's it for this chapter! Next time, Arnold officially decides to become Lulu's boyfriend! Tune in next time!


	3. Area of Eden

All right, here we go with this chapter.

* * *

Arnold could hardly believe his eyes as he was finding himself in a sitting position, with Lulu rubbing her head against his stomach, purring contently. Currently, she had one hand inside his pants, gently stroking the instrument hidden in the boy's underwear, causing Arnold to groan a bit, giving a lovesick smile.

"Oh, Lulu..." Arnold groaned as he looked down at the lovely country girl... before momentarily snapping out of his stupor as he pushed the girl away. "Lulu! What are you trying to do?"

"Why, I'm ever so certain that I'm giving you a handjob." Lulu smirked. "And don't give me the excuse of 'I'm Arnie's girlfriend'. I'm breaking up with Arnie, remember?"

Arnold blushed before shaking his head. "Lulu, that's what I want to talk to you about. Last night, with the... private swim and the... games we played at the water and..."

"Weren't they ever so wonderful games?" Lulu grinned. "Oh, but I get it. You wanted a bit more, didn't you?"

Arnold's eyes widened in shock as he shook his head. "Lulu, please, I'm trying to communicate to you as a person, that..."

The red haired girl looked over to the panicked face of the boy's as she gave a small smile. "Look, I get it. You're very confused. You don't know what to do when you have a very hot girl on your lap."

"I-" Arnold started to talk, but the girl put a finger on his lips, shutting him up.

"Arnold, I just want to let you know... you're a very sweet guy. From what Arnie told me of you in his stories, you're quite helpful, but you don't get lucky. I feel bad for you, in a way." Lulu said as Arnold just stared at her in surprise. "Why, even now, that girl you were talking to, Hilda? She rejected you for Arnie. If that didn't convince you you have bad luck with girls, I don't know what would."

Arnold stared at Lulu in shock as he thought about what she said. Even though he didn't like to admit it, Lulu was right. Even in the city, Arnold had the worst luck when it came to girls. Even the girls in his grade, though he was nice to them, weren't interested in him as much as they either had other boys they had their eyes on, or some pushed his limits... especially Helga. At that moment, Arnold looked over at Lulu as he raised an eyebrow. "You really find me... cute?"

"And hot." Lulu giggled. "Hotter than even your oh-so-boring cousin. No offense to Arnie, but I've secretly peeked at him naked, and compared to you, he's nothing."

Arnold blushed again as the red haired country girl got up and motioned over to him. "Well, come on."

"Wh-where are we going?" Arnold asked as he followed Lulu, raising an eyebrow.

"You'll see!" Lulu sing-songed as she started to skip off, with Arnold following close behind.

* * *

The two hiked along the country roads until they entered a forest of some type. Through the trees, over a couple of hanging branches, and past some thorny bushes, Arnold had followed the flirty girl to an empty clearing... where a nice apple tree resided, alongside a log bench. Lulu gave a yawn as she started to lay down on the bench happily. Arnold looked around in confusion, but before he could ask Lulu where he was, the girl quickly answered his question.

"Welcome, Arnold, to my little peaceful Eden. It's where I go to relax." Lulu smiled as she gave a small look towards the boy. "And a place where I can just be myself without these pesky garments in the way."

Much to the football headed boy's surprise, Lulu had started to take off her boots, followed by her top and skirt, revealing that she wasn't wearing any undergarments underneath them.

Arnold shook his head in shock. "Lulu! Wh-wha-?"

"Oh please. You act like you never saw a naked girl before, when in fact, you have. Private swim, remember?" Lulu scoffed as she stretched her arms. "Come on, Arnold, shed your clothes too. Don't worry, nobody's around for miles."

Arnold hesitated as he looked around, then paused as indeed, Lulu was correct. He blushed in shyness at first as Lulu looked up. "Come on, Arnold. Don't be so shy. Show me your true self..."

After a moment, Arnold yelped as he shook nervously... before the giggling girl gave a grin as she got up and walked towards him. "Need a little help? Well... allow me to lend a hand and take these constricting clothes..."

All of a sudden, Lulu grabbed the bottom of Arnold's shirts and pulled them off the boy's head, surprising him as both shirts went inside out. "H-HEY!"

Upon taking the shirts off, Lulu giggled as she stared at the shirtless boy, blushing in embarrassment. Arnold groaned, "Lulu, what's the big idea?"

"You're going a little too slow, darling. What you need to do is relax." Lulu wiggled her eyebrows. "I helped you out a little with the shirts... now kindly take off the pants and underwear and we can just have a nice, little talk."

"But, Lulu, we'll be-" Arnold started to protest.

"-naked? You didn't complain when we went to that private swim." Lulu smirked.

Arnold opened his mouth, before closing it as he looked down at his pants. He shook his head, saying, "I guess I didn't..."

Giving out a small sigh, Arnold unbuttoned his pants as he took the pants and the underwear off, leaving him in nothing but his small green hat.

Lulu giggled as she marveled at the sight of a naked Arnold. "Come, my boy. Sit with me."

Arnold nodded as he sat down with Lulu as he got comfortable in his seat. He didn't know what Lulu had planned, but he did know that something was about to come his way...

* * *

I'll end this chapter here for the time being. The rest of the chapter is going to be a lemon chapter, but since this is the fanfiction version, I'm not going to write it down here. If you want the lemon version of the story, you'll have to go to the Archive of Our Own version if you want to see it. That's it for now. Until then!


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